I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
