Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
