Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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