i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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