Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
