i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
