I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
