okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
