I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize