so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
People in love make me want to vomit
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
