so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
