singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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