I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So much Jack, so little girl.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
