so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
well you can't waste a boner
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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