Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
