mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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