I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Little spoons don't ask big questions
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
