I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
