I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
