We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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