Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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