He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
