When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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