i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
no you cant smoke seaweed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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