I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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