Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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