But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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