Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
