Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
