I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
