You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
is that a dick in a sweater?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
