i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
