Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
