Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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