Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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