brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
