you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
honey bunches of taint.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
