Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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