the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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