Define "chronic" masturbator.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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