wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize