I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
