as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
