so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
