I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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