Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
