i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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