was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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