we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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