I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
you had me at cake vodka
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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