Have you finally orgasmed yet?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
