This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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