Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
