its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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