One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
