And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
