Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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