it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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