Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
