The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
