some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
