i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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