i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
