when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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