office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
