Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
