I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
