dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
