How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize