She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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