JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
When are your genitals available?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
