Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
