Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
