Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
