and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
love makes seman taste better
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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