After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
