she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
