Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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