Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize