Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
