i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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